An Agni Kai?
by is-it-just-a-gay-blog
Summary: Asami's horny, Mako's angry, and Korra's just confused. Pure smut one-shot meant to be funny and not taken seriously.


**A/N: Hey guys! This is entirely a joke and isn't meant to be taken seriously. My friend dared me to write a parody smut on all the bad smuts we've read in the past, so here it is!**

CEO and daughter of the Founder of Future Industries Asami Sato sat at her desk in her office, playing Ms. Pac-Man (because fuck Mr. Pac-Man, am I right?) on her work computer. She had been trying to get a certain short haired Water Tribe native out of her head for the past three hours, but everything had proven futile. Not even this Golden Age arcade game from the 80s could divert Asami's attention from wanting to _absolutely fuck_ Korra's brains out when she got home. She could feel herself getting moist from just thinking about her girlfriend, and she knew there was only one thing to do to solve this issue.

Pulling up nude pics of Korra on her phone, she left her skirt on but dropped her panties to the floor and pulled open a hidden drawer within her desk to reveal a thick, 13 inch baby blue vibrator, the color obviously referring Korra's love of the color. Opening another hidden drawer revealed K-Y brand lubricant. She probably didn't need it because of how fucking wet she was right now, but she liked to play it safe. Lubing up her play toy, she inserted it half way with ease and turned it on.

 _"Oh, fuck me."_ Asami groaned loudly. She pulled it out slowly and thrust it back in, repeating the motions while flipping through her 700+ photos in her "Naked Avatar" album on her phone. Her moaning grew louder and louder as she felt herself close to her peak. _Thank the Spirits my secretary went home early today,_ thought Asami as she closed her eyes and began thrusting her vibrator within her quicker and quicker. She imagined that it was Korra who had grown a 13 inch throbbing penis that vibrated and was positively skull fucking her into oblivion rather than her sex toy. "Oh, Korra!" she began to screech, "Oh, fuck yes! Oh Avatar, master of all four elements, oh please, _yes!_ Fuck me like the naughty girl I am!" and with that she thrust the vibrator within herself as far as it would go, and let out a wolf-like howl as she came all over her brand-new leather swivel chair.

Panting, she pulled out the vibrator and wiped it down before placing it back in the hidden compartment. She stood up and looked down at her seat, shaking her head, _I'm going to have to buy a new chair again. That's the fourth one this week._ She turned around towards the front of her office, gasping when she found a red-faced Mako standing in the doorway.

"Oh, heyy Mako.." drawled Asami, exhausted from her recent bout of physical exertion. She thought to herself, _Ah what the hell, he's already seen this, might as well go with it_. "Like what you saw?" cooed Asami with a wink.

Mako went from flustered to furious in 0.2 seconds.

"Korra is the love of _my_ life! Not yours! You don't deserve her!" he crossed his arms over his chest and smirked. "You know, you're just a phase."

Asami burst into laughter, "Oh really? From what I recall, she dropped you like a sack of potatoes before jumping into my arms and making out with me in the sunset. She realized what a mistake _you_ were and what a treasure _I_ was. Something you missed out on completely."

Mako slammed his fist on the wall behind him, "You know what? Why don't we ask her? Or better yet? I challenge you to an _Agni Kai!_ Tomorrow night at 8! Whoever wins gets to keep Korra."

Asami's expression fell. _An Agni Kai? Doesn't he know I can't fire bend? Is he retarded?_ Asami quickly recovered. "You've got yourself a deal. Prepare to eat shit _._ Oh and by the way, _your eyebrow game is fucking weak_."

Mako's voice raised about three octaves, " _You take that back you cunt!"_

"Save it for the Agni Kai, fuckboy!"

That night Asami went home not ready to fuck Korra's brains out, but rather, to pose an intriguing question.

"Korra?"

Korra looked up from where she was sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"Hm?"

"You know how you can take people's bending away?"

Korra's eyebrows shot up like Markiplier jumps out of his chair during a game of Five Night's at Freddy's.

"Yes?"

"Can you give people bending?"

Korra stood up and made her way over to Asami and took both of Asami's hands into hers.

"Honey, you know how much you mean to me. The fact that you can't bend doesn-"

"Sweetie, I know. But Mako challenged me to an Agni Kai and I'm not a bender."

Korra screamed, " _An Agni Kai!?_ What!"

"He's just jealous that I'm with you and not him."

Korra frowned and thoughtfully rubbed her chin. "I guess I could try to give you firebending. But he's been firebending his whole life! What makes you think you can beat him after having it for less than twenty-four hours?"

Asami put both of her hands on Korra's face. "My love for you is like an eternal flame that can never be extinguished. _That_ will trump any amount of firebending training-"

All of a sudden, GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump burst through the door.

"I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks."

And with that he was gone within a second.

Asami, unfazed by the random outburst, turned back to Korra to complete her thought that was so rudely interrupted by the least popular Republican candidate for the 2016 presidency.

"I love you so much Korra. I will fight for you until the day I die. Then I'll haunt bitches who think they can flirt with you and turn their stoves on when they're not at home."

Korra wrapped her arms around Asami's neck and pulled her close, "Asami, I love you too." She pecked Asami on the cheek, "But you're going to get yourself fucking killed. I won't do it." Asami smiled leaning into her ear, "No sex for a month."

Korra gave Asami firebending so fast.

"Alright, Asami! Are you prepared to meet your maker?" hollered Mako, lowering himself in a firebending stance.

"You fucking know it, dirtbag." yelled Asami, lowering herself into a firebending stance Korra had taught her this morning.

"You got this sweetheart! Just don't hurt him too bad! You'll bruise his pride more than anything!" Korra cheered from the stands, wearing a foam finger and a shirt with Asami's face on it.

Asami was the first to attack, sending a fireball aimed at Mako's ugly face. Mako, dumbfounded by the fact Asami just _firebended_ , barely dodged the attack, sending a flurry of flames her way. Asami dodged them swiftly and swept her feet out at Mako, causing him to fall to the ground. Asami was on him within an instant, brandishing a .44 Caliber Colt Revolver and aiming at his head. "Next time, don't fuck with me and my girlfriend." she said before firing the ground next to his head.

Furious, Mako stood up quickly and stalked away, grumbling about how she cheated and shouldn't have the ability to firebend, even though he challenged a _nonbender_ to an Agni Kai.

Korra whooped from her seat on the sidelines and ran out to embrace her beautifully talented girlfriend. Korra picked her up and spun her around, both laughing and giggling like little school girls.

Once Korra placed her on the ground, she placed a kiss on Asami's cheek, saying "I'm so happy you won, I couldn't handle dating that dull brick again."

Asami laughed heartily, wrapping her arms around Korra's waist before whispering, "I couldn't handle it knowing how bad he was in bed with you."

Korra began blushing furiously, sputtering and saying that she didn't know what Asami was talking about.

Asami placed a finger on Korra's lips, "Take me right here, right now." Korra blinked at Asami, before nodding dumbly and closing the distance between them. Asami and Korra's lips moved against each others' methodically, each knowing the dance they had done so many times before. Asami, being the natural freak in bed, brought her hands over Korra's ass, squeezing firmly and pulling her closer. Korra gasped, and Asami took the opportunity to slip her tongue into Korra's mouth, groaning when she felt Korra's hands entangle themselves in her hair. Asami brought Korra down to the ground roughly, straddling the girl and pulling away to unbutton her jumpsuit.

 _Damnit, why did I wear this today? I knew I was going to win_ thought Asami as she angrily dismantled her copious amounts of clothing. Korra took the hint and took off her own shirt and helped Asami with the remainder of her clothes, leaving Asami in her underwear and Korra in her sports bra.

"Korra, I want you to fuck me like you've never fucked me before."

"Um, do you want me to stick my foot in your vagina? We haven't tried that before."

"Damnit, Korra."

"Sorry, um, what do you want me to do?"

"You're the Avatar, come up with something."

"Oh come on!"

"We're losing daylight and I'm not getting any hornier."

"We've never fucked in a field before, doesn't that count for something?"

"Korra."

"What?"

"Do you know of any sex spirits?"

"Now that I think about it, I do, why?"

"What do you mean why?!"

"Right, sorry. Um, let me meditate real quick."

Asami climbed off of Korra and decided to take off the rest of her clothes while Korra meditated. A few moments passed before a small, fox-like spirit appeared. "How can I be of service?" asked the spirit.

"I want to have sex with my girlfriend in a way we've never had sex before." replied Korra.

"I've got just the thing." said the spirit before he jumped on Korra's back and fused into her skin.

"Wait, what are you doing? What's happening? Oh, _Spirits!_ " shouted Korra as she stood up quickly, doubling over as a wave of pain hit her.

"Korra!" Asami shouted as she stood by her side, rubbing circles on the small of her back. Korra groaned and fell to her knees, shaking slightly before taking a few deep breaths and calming herself down. She stood up shakily and quickly grabbed her crotch region.

"Oh my Spirits." gasped Korra, "It gave me a fucking penis."

Asami screamed, "What!? Are you serious!" And then she started laughing hysterically, "Holy shit! That's priceless! You're a fucking futanari!"

Korra frowned and crossed her arms, watching as her naked girlfriend laughed and laughed at her.

Asami took a few deep breaths to steady herself and then put her arms on Korra's shoulders and looked into her eyes. "That's hilarious, and extremely _hot._ "

Korra blushed and looked down, kicking a rock away. She looked up but kept her head down, biting her lip. "Can we have sex now? My erection is starting to hurt."

Asami giggled and bit her own lip seductively, purring, "Of course. But you're going to have to take those clothes off. I want to see you."

Korra nodded eagerly, throwing off her sports bra and then her sweat pants. Sure enough, Asami was met with a seven inch throbbing erection. Asami smiled before kneeling down in front of it, taking over half of it into her mouth, effectively deepthroating her girlfriend for the first time. Korra was taken by surprise, but then again, with the way Asami acts when she's horny, she shouldn't be surprised by now. Korra dug her fingers into Asami's head as Asami began bobbing her head back and forth, taking as much of the brand new penis in as she could and then releasing it once more.

"Oh, Asami, that's it, _oh."_ Korra wasn't one to talk dirty during sex, completely opposite to Asami, but today she was going to make an exception.

Asami released the throbbing meat monster from her mouth entirely, standing up and kissing Korra deeply on the lips. Korra responded with equal fervor, hands roaming the naked woman in front of her before finding purchase on her boobs. Asami pulled back from the kiss and moaned loudly, eyes rolling backwards before shutting.

"Oh Korra, please fuck my titties, oh Korra." she groaned as Korra began fondling her love mounds. Korra was just a 36 B at best, but _boy_ , Asami was a strong 38 DD. Korra always loved falling asleep on top of her girlfriend's breasts, as they evidently worked great as pillows. Korra bent down slightly to take one of Asami's nipples into her mouth, earning a deep, guttural moan from the woman before her.

"Korra, please take me now. I'm so fucking _wet_." screeched Asami as Korra somehow took _both_ of her nip nops into her mouth. Korra ignored her pleas as she continued to fondle Asami's huge boobies, but her penis had a mind of it's own and began rubbing Asami's inner thighs. Asami took her chance and wrapped her legs around Korra's lower abdomen, effectively pressing Korra's large member into herself.

Both gasped loudly, and Korra groaned out "Fuck Asami, I wasn't done having fun with you yet." Realizing she may not be able to support their weight for long, Korra dropped them to the ground and assumed the missionary position. Korra grunted and pounded her seven inch dick into Asami's sweet, sweet pussy as Asami's moans were growing louder and louder.

"Spirits, Asami. You're so fucking _tight_." moaned Korra as she leaned down to ravage Asami's neck. Asami was so close, she could feel herself transcending into another realm.

"Korra, I'm so close, please, come inside me." Korra smirked and pulled out, earning a gasp from Asami. Before she could refute Korra's decision, Asami was flipped onto her stomach, and Korra inserted her wang monster into Asami's wet minge. Asami screamed and didn't last much longer before she cummed. Asami rode Korra's one eyed trouser snake as she came, and Korra released her cum inside Asami shortly after. They stayed like that for a few moments, panting and letting everything settle.

Korra pulled out and lay next to Asami, who was still lying on her stomach. "Hey sweetie, was I good for my first time?" whispered Korra as she pecked Asami on her forehead. Eyes closed, Asami didn't respond. "Asami?" Still nothing. _Holy shit, she must have passed out. I fucked my girlfriend so hard she passed out._

Lying there, she realized she still had a penis and said, "Uh Spirit? You can leave now. You don't have to stay." But she heard a voice...

"Did I forget to mention that I'm stuck with you forever? Say hello to your new best friend."

All the color drained from Korra's face. "Do you mean I'm stuck with a fucking dick?"

"Nah I'm just kidding. I may be stuck with you, but you can choose between whether or not you want a penis or a vagina."

"What's your name?"

"Oh, I'm the Futanari spirit."

"Oh for fuck's sake."

The End.


End file.
